It always amuses me when I read about someone’s “DH” or “DD” or “DS.” First of all, I hate the word Dear. It implies that the person is not just valued by you but that they are your lfie. Sure, Matt is really important to me but calling him my Dear Husband makes me feel as if I’m a second class citizen. I bow down before my Dear Husband. Same goes for DS and DD. Forgot my distaste for the names for a moment and think about this: why do people use them?
Maybe out of laziness. Few of us have an important family member with a name of two characters or less (in the US, at least). Maybe it’s that we’re afraid. If some stranger finds out my child’s name she’ll get kidnapped and I’ll never see her again. Maybe we want to seem like we’re in the know. Everyone online refers to their husband as DH so I should, too.
But there’s another alias system the Web 2.0 types use: making up nicknames for everyone in their lives. I’ve seen HusBoy, First Son, Pretty Girl. Do these nicknames get used for the same reason as the DH/DD/DSs do?
Do you use a nickname or D-something abbreviation? Why? I could never keep straight who is who if I used nicknames the the D part drives me batty. I don’t want to insult anyone, really, I’m’ just curious.
I’ve been using nicknames for my family members just to protect their privacy from people who don’t know me in real life. I only use nicknames for the four of them, so it’s not to hard to keep track. I think a lot of people use nicknames for that reason – to stay anonymous.
As far as DH/DD/DS, I’ll say first that it took me forever to figure out what those meant when people used them. I don’t have a problem with it – I think it’s kind of a sweet way to think of your husband. And I know a guy who blogs who refers to his wife as PW – “precious wife” – so I don’t think it necessarily denotes any kind of condescension by using a phrase like that. I guess I don’t want to use something like DH ever because it feels really unoriginal.
I guess I tend to tailor my use of nicknames to my audience. If I’m emailing the knitting group, or my reading group, for e.g., I’ll use DH. For other purposes I might use “hubby” or Tod. For the kids, I use Daughter or Son.
I use these nicknames for all the reasons you stated already. I use DH for David when I am feeling lazy and trying to type up my story quicker. I use DD for darling daughter cause her name is loooooooong, as you know and it’s faster. I have taken other precautions for security like keeping my domain information private and things like that. It did take me a long time too, to figure out what all the stinkin initials were for.
What’s funny is that WAY WAY back in the day, the “D” stood for darling as opposed to dear. *shrug* Funny how things have changed over time. I generally use a nickname for people who aren’t on the internet and might not necessarily know that I’m writing about them… the whole “protect the innocent” kind of mentality.
But the picking of a nickname is more appropriate for the person from my point of view. But makes the individual in the story telling distinguishable from, well, initials, for the person reading, who doesn’t know who I’m talking about or their personality traits. *shrug* I have always been this way. But I doubt I will ever use the DH/DS/DD or whatever else there is to come after D.
Acronyms abound – FOs, WIPs, UFOs, LYS – so why not for certain people who can remain anonymous. I now have a “DH” though I doubt I will use that term for him when actually talking about him; he’s Lee. I understand the anonymity part of it though – a lot of knitbloggers never show pictures of themselves, let you know their real names, or anything personal. It’s a great way to refer to someone that’s common, anonymous, and accepted in the community. I wouldn’t, but that’s just me.
the words “dear” or “darling” sound antiquated, so when used with a noun as an acronym seem tinged with a bit of sarcasm to me, especially considering that knitters often “bitch” about their hubbies or children at meetups. i’m not married, so i either use his name or bf, which is shorter than best friend and boyfriend–mine is both. not sure what i would use if we were married, probably still his name or bf. i like partner as it is more gender neutral.
i think acronyms not only shorten longer words in blogs, but when used exclusively within a community make its members feel like they are special and connected to the community as opposed to someone outside of it.
I generally use Huz for husband because DH doesn’t apply unless you consider ‘Dumb’ ‘Dreadful’ etc. as the prefix instead of Dear.
Just stumbled across your blog through ravelry…I have to say I love this post. The DH thing drives me nuts too! Personally, I dont use DH because it’s not how I would ever refer to my husband in “real” life or in face to face conversations…dear husband, um..no. Although the rate at which other people use it makes me feel like I should refer to him like that. Instead, I just go with the first letter of his name
I’m jumping on this bandwagon really late, but I just googled “I hate the phrase dd ds dh” and your blog was the first hit! I think I agree with everyone here — it’s convenient but I won’t do it. And Christine cracked me up with her post. I think “dear” and “darling” are so Jane Austen-esque that I have a problem taking it seriously — and it annoys me every time I read someone’s post and they force me to say “dear husband” even in my head as I read it! So thanks for asking about it because it made my day to find others with similar thinking. I have a dh and now a ds, but I also have a dg and a dp (golden retriever and pug)….. I’m not sure what I’ll say in posts because I’m not much of a blogger and I generally either type it out (it doesn’t take that much time, people!) or use names since I have no desire to protect the innocent. Mean me.