Today is my 25th birthday and, somehow, my age seems suddenly important to me. Everyone feels suddenly older when they turn 16 (driver’s license), 18 (sign legal agreements, buy cigs/lottery tickets/etc), and 21 (alcohol) but 25? I don’t feel old, per say, just older. I woke up this morning and felt more mature, more complete, more respectable. Twenty two is when you finsih college. Twenty three is your first year out. Twenty four, maybe you are starting to figure “real life” out. Twenty five – that’s when you’re supposed to have your act together.
In some ways, I do already have things figured out. I’m married and already working in my chosen career, despite the fact it’s going to take me eight years to finish a messily Bachelor’s degree. I realized that, while it holds some allure, I don’t belong on the West Coast and that I really want to live in Europe at some point. I know I hate to cook, love crafts that don’t require exact precision, and can’t be productive in an unorganized work space. I know I want to have children, sooner rather than latter. I know I like my white wine acidic, coffee brewed strong, and Diet Coke easily available. I know panting my toe nails makes me feel cute, putting on makeup makes me feel beautiful, and taking a bath can melt away any stress.
But there’s some things I certainly don’t know. Do I really want to work in Defense the rest of my career? Do I want to be a programmer or a scheduler or throw it all away and start my own cheese shop? What sort of top should I wear with a patterned silk A-line skirt? Is it me or my brother who takes care of my parents if they get sick – me because I’m older or him because he’s closer? How do you indicate to the tailor how much shorter you need your pants to be? What’s a good price for a manicure? Where’s the best place to rest your hands during a business meeting? Do I want to have kids right after I graduate or in ten years? When will I cease to look like I’m 16? How long until we can buy a house?
Maye that’s just how life is. There’s always things you don’t “get” yet – be it lack of experience or simply not knowing it was something you had to understand one day. I guess all I can hope is that I find the answers to some of my questions this coming year and let the less important things go.
I think most of those questions will get answered if you just go with the flow and look for opportunities as they arise – at least, the job/family/house ones. I wouldn’t recommend opening a cheese shop in Europe, but hey, if the means suddenly appear…my motto is to just be open for any opportunity, which is why I’m living in Japan. Most things (maybe not the clothing ones) you’ll find the answers to, eventually. Of course, you could always just use a Magic 8 ball.
Happy Birthday!